This blog was originally posted on December 20, 2016. I've posted it again because this can be a hard time of year and these tips to change your mindset do help. They don't necessarily change the situation, I know some of you may be going through much bigger things than what I was experiencing last December, being far away from home. Follow the suggestions anyway... it certainly can't hurt. Two months in Australia and five weeks in New Zealand. Sure there were times I missed home, wanted to come home even, but those times were brief. Travelling isn´t easy, but I never seriously wanted to ¨quit the trip¨ as my son once said. I was excited about coming to Colombia. The plan is to spend four months in South America with Colombia as our home base. My father in law is Colombian and there is a ton of family here. We came here with a rough plan of spending time in Bogota over Christmas, then visiting Ecuador, Peru and Chile, coming back to Bogota in between countries. We were happy to be able to stay in one place for a while. We travelled for more than thirty hours to get to Bogota from New Zealand so we had no problem with resting a bit once we got here. Then culture shock hit. Australia and New Zealand are different from the United States, but not terribly so when you get right down to it. You can get many of the same foods, they speak English (mostly understandably) and we didn´t really stick out too much. Also, we were on the go most of the time. Yes, traveling is exhausting, but have you ever been so busy that when you finally have time to slow down, you have a difficult time of it? But what brought me to tears? I´m sure it was a combination of being tired from traveling, not speaking Spanish very well and feeling like the culture is just so different from what I´m used to in Santa Cruz. The straw that broke the camel´s back: our clothing smelled of fragrance so strongly after my father in law´s dear house cleaner washed them, that we couldn´t even wear them. We hadn´t gotten to the store yet to buy fragrance free detergent or food for that matter. I was trying to be flexible by not worrying about it. I thought I could live with it, this one time. I´ll write more about toxic fragrance another time, but to suffice it to say, it´s been out of my life for ages, so I´m that much more sensitive to it. Feel free to read more about fragrance here. I´ll write more about toxic fragrance another time, but to suffice it to say, it´s been out of my life for ages, so I´m that much more sensitive to it. Feel free to read more about fragrance here. So, I´m sure it was a combination of factors, but I was in tears and just wanted to go home. I can´t remember the last time I felt so homesick. What did I do to make it better?
Second, I bought some free and clear laundry detergent so that I could rewash the clothes. I felt bad rewashing the clothes because the house cleaner is so sweet and didn´t know any better. But, we didn´t have to tell her that we rewashed them and she´ll use our detergent from now on. After all, when else am I going to have someone doing my laundry for me. Third, I called a friend...or two. I realized that I was feeling more isolated because of the cultural differences. I also communicated how I was feeling to my husband in a non-blaming way. Once we settled in, he made sure that we started seeing more of the interesting parts of the city. Fourth, I enrolled in a Spanish Language school, see below.
Fifth, doing these other things, allowed me to see that this part of our trip is important in a different way than our trip had been previously. My husband left Colombia when he was seven. His mom is Dutch, they were both blondies, his parents were separated and the family didn´t feel that they were safe here. Colombia has become much safer. Colombian president, Juan Manuel Santos, was just awarded the 2016 Nobel Peace Prize for his resolute efforts to bring the country's more than 50-year-long civil war to an end, a war that has cost the lives of at least 220 000 Colombians and displaced close to six million people. So for my husband to have us here with him, meeting all of his Colombian family, is a really big deal as he feels that he is a Colombian that has been displaced. Family in Latin America has kept it´s importance and his family is quite close and at the same time very warm and welcoming. It doesn´t take experiencing culture shock in a Latin American country to feel out of sorts or a little down. Whatever the reason, taking some action will usually help. Getting some of whatever type of exercise you enjoy is usually a good first step. Exercise releases endorphins, which are an automatic mood booster. Calling or meeting up with a friend or two is often a good second step. A good friend will give you perspective or just generally make you feel better without doing a thing. It can be even better if you can combine step one and two! Finding some kind of activity that is social and maybe even mentally stimulating can make a good third step. Going to the language school is not only helping me to integrate into the Latin American Culture, but I am also meeting people and using my brain. With those first three steps, it is often possible to reframe and get to bottom of what is really bothering you! Give these tips a try. How did these tips work for you? What are your survival tips for when you are feeling a little down? What makes you feel better? Please share in the comments below! If you've found this article interesting or helpful please share with your friends and like on Facebook down below! If you'd like some more help with mindset, download my Free Guide: Three Steps to Increase Your Happiness Factor
5 Comments
Jane
12/21/2016 02:37:01 pm
Oh crystal. I loved this post. Terrific suggestions to repair the despair. I wish I was at language school with you cooking. And going for a swim. Time for YOU is what it is all about. As for me I exercise and listen to dharma talks. !! Then I eat with friends and have a class of wine too. I try to be as present as possible and feel my feelings honestly. Like you. Love love love to you !!!
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Crystal
12/24/2016 04:05:38 am
I wish you were in language school with me, too! It was so much fun, we will probably do another week when we are back in Bogota (not that we are leaving yet!). Carmen and her family will be here on the fifth of January, so we will do some site seeing with them! Miss you and love, love, love to you!
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Catherine Jager
12/21/2016 09:19:42 pm
Dearest Crystal, I live reading you, and this one made me sad for you and proud of you all in one. My favorite -- combining step one and step two, as you well know. Found myself homesick a couple of years ago. It was rough, but well worth the adventure. So like you to bring the positive forward ❤️
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Crystal
12/24/2016 04:01:13 am
Dear Cathy, The Spanish language school made all the difference. It was fun to have Carolina there learning beside me, as well. You were my step one and two for so long and I am so appreciative. Just know that on those days that I was pricing flights out of Colombia, some of them were to Boise! When we are home again, I do want to take time for myself to come visit again! I love you always! xoxo
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Patty
4/5/2017 10:15:19 am
Hey Crystal - great post! Culture shock can hit in weird ways at unexpected times. Taking care of yourself, like you have done, is the best. Language - just knowing some words - opens doors and connects us with each other. That connection can be so comforting - a smile from a stranger when you speak some words in their language...so great to hear that Carolina is studying Spanish with you! I miss you all! As to meditation, you can do it in 5 or 10 minute chunks throughout the day, and that can be as good or better than one 40 minute chunk. Try it! anywhere! xoxox
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